if you could kill anyone and get away with it who would it be? - @ripfairy -
it was the middle of summer and you couldn’t stop smiling that grin that made me feel like something and i kept staring at the gap between your canines until i finally worked up the nerve to look you in the eye and ask you what you were smiling at. you looked away for a second and then you looked back and right when i thought you were going to say something, you leaned in to kiss me and that was that.
you never answered my stupid questions and i guess i didn’t mind because i knew the answer to them anyway and you didn’t like to let your guard down. you didn’t like to tell me you wanted me. instead, you’d ask me to climb through the window first when we’d go to smoke on your rooftop and when i asked why, you didn’t say anything, you just kissed me. i knew it was so you could get a better look at my ass in the moonlight.
most of the time i was with you, i didn’t wear pants. it was easier for you, you’d say, so you didn’t have to go through the effort of taking my clothes off every time you wanted to touch me, which was often.
and you were the kind of guy who lost respect for women every time your fingers ran along their hips. i asked about your religion one time after sex when i was in the perfect position to keep staring at the bible on your dresser, but your only response was that i couldn’t touch it because i was tainted now. you laughed but it was the kind of laugh that had just a little bit of truth in it and i didn’t care because i knew i was more fucked up than just a little bit.
all of my friends told me to run, but my legs were cemented to the passenger’s seat of your car where you tried to hook up with me the first time. because even though you always touched me instead of answering my questions, your actions never left me empty. you’d kiss me in the middle of sentences, run your hands along my neck in the car, push me over on your bed when i’d ask you to buy me presents or take me on dates.
months later, you told me you loved me and i told you that you don’t know what love is. you were all hands and no love and i deserved so much more than just your touch. months later,